Does this look like the face of a killer?

If I saw his picture on Facebook or Myspace I would quickly think, "Handsome man" and move on without a second thought. His face does not show despair or pain. His body language does not signal distress or depression. He looks like any other person I would pass on the street or in the hallway of my office building. But unlike us, George Sodini not only took the lives of 3 young women and then himself, he blogged about his upcoming "exit" for over a year - plotting, planning, and probably desperately hoping someone would read his online words and help ease his pain.

On a public blog, Sodini documented his plot and openly spoke of his life that was filled with loneliness and an ongoing desire for the attention of women. He wrote:

"Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29).

May 18: There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive. These problems have gotten worse over a 30-year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people.

August 3: Probably 99% of the people who know m well don't even think I was this crazy...Net worth slightly more than $250K".

We typically expect killers and psychopaths to stand out, to somehow appear "off" or different from the normal average-looking, average-working person. Not the case here. Perhaps this is the attention he always wanted. Shoot, couldn't he have found a reality TV show to be part of instead?

Can You Afford A Baby?

Many of my closely approaching thirty-year-old-friends have come to realize that timing will probably never be perfect when deciding to start a family. There will never be enough money, never enough time, never enough house to suit the needs and demands of a child. So with a bit of hope and a surge of excitement coupled with slight unease and nervousness many have thrown away the birth control and ridden their draws of condoms. But before you become spontaneous, acting on impulse and the dream of what it would be like to have a baby take this quick quiz by U.S. News and first see can you even $$afford$$ one!

The quiz told me “3 to 5 points: You are on the right track, but additional planning could help ease the transition to parenthood”. I think that is just about right! Find out if you are financially ready for a baby – CLICK HERE.

Saying No Is OK. They’ll Love You Just The Same.

Could Natalee Holloway’s mother or father have saved her?

While hearing the emotionless Joran van der Sloot confess to having disposed of Natalee Holloway’s body, I hesitate for a moment but then proceed forward contemplating a different outcome if Natalee was never allowed to attend the informal school vacation.

I reflect back on my own teenage and young adult years where my mothers constant response of “no” drove me crazy. I was always the friend who had the earliest curfew, was unable to stay out the night of prom, and never allowed to attend far distanced trips unless one of my parents were a direct chaperone. Life at the time seemed so unfair.

As I get older and move further away from my teenage years and closer to having my own daughter one day, I think about the discipline and freedom that I will allow my children to have and I cannot help but think – unless myself or her father were present, my daughter would have not been allowed to attend the Aruba trip. And I am sure tears would have streamed down, red hot tempers would have flared and a few ‘I hate you’s’ would have been said, but in the best interest and protection of my child my answer would too, like my own mother, have been no.

What right does an 18 year old have to go to Aruba with a group of friends for a high school graduation party? Is a barbeque and pool party in the backyard no longer sufficient? Were parents aware that their children would be of legal drinking and gambling age in Aruba? Did any of these mothers and fathers stop to think that perhaps their teenage child was not yet mature enough to be situated in an environment that is loosely controlled? Even more disheartening is that the ratio of chaperone to students was 7:125, and as this was an “informal” high school event and all the students had recently graduated, the chaperones lacked the ability to implement hardcore consequences for poor behavior. If a student broke their curfew (were there even curfews?), became intoxicated, or slept in the opposite genders bedroom for example – what would be their punishment? They could not be expelled, miss graduation, or receive detention – all the possible deterrents that chaperones can typically emphasize and enforce were absent in Aruba.

Teenagers are not adults and that is why they are labeled with a term that references a transitional stage of human development. Teenagers, no matter how well they are raised, do not always understand the ramifications of their actions or overindulges – parents do. And parents are to be the literal and physical boundary which protects their children from the known and unknown harms of the world.

Natalee was not protected in Aruba. And I can only hypothesize that a response of ‘No” with a few “I hate you’s’ could have saved her life.

A Day of Progress For Current and Soon-To-Be New Jersey Criminals

No appeal. No protest. No pardon issued a minute before midnight.

Today 8 death row inmates in the state of New Jersey played spectators to the sport of politics as Governor Jon S. Corzine signed legislation and made law, the abolishment of Capital Punishment. At the mercy of no jurors or judge, the 8 convicted criminals were given a new verdict of life in prison without parole.

According to Newsday, Gov. Corzine said:

“This is a day of progress for us and for the millions of people across our nation and around the globe who reject the death penalty as a moral or practical response to the grievous, even heinous, crime of murder”.

No wonder the Statue of Liberty’s ass faces that state.

*First published on http://www.mindsay.com/ December 17, 2007