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On a public blog, Sodini documented his plot and openly spoke of his life that was filled with loneliness and an ongoing desire for the attention of women. He wrote:
"Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29).
May 18: There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive. These problems have gotten worse over a 30-year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people.
August 3: Probably 99% of the people who know m well don't even think I was this crazy...Net worth slightly more than $250K".
We typically expect killers and psychopaths to stand out, to somehow appear "off" or different from the normal average-looking, average-working person. Not the case here. Perhaps this is the attention he always wanted. Shoot, couldn't he have found a reality TV show to be part of instead?
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